Ten hut.. New Captain on the Deck

Dr. Manmohan Singh was identified as the most popular leader in India by a survey conducted by Star News and A.C .Nielsen the result of which was announced last month. I have kind of lost faith in survey results and expert opinions, the reasons for which I will write in another post (I know.. but sorry folks.. I don’t plan to end this ordeal any time soon).

No offense intended to those who make a living by asking questions, analyzing data and publishing inferences without mentioning the subjectivity component that usually plague surveys of the like that intend to find out ‘who is your favorite leader’ (even I do that a bit myself) . My psephological skills wouldn’t suffice in successfully unearthing the nuances in the voting pattern in a simple democracy like India. Since I don’t like the media bigmouths who have the gift of wrapping rotten horse excreta in credible looking arguments; gab it over and hand it out in a capsule form, I will not listen to them on what is their take on this issue. However being a social animal; and because I feel obliged by the fact that I have been taking part in the finger inking exercise in our country I feel compelled to share my thought on this.

There are no two ways that Dr. Singh is an erudite and a man of high moral values. However; since PMO is Prime Minister’s Office and not Pope Manmohan’s Office, erudition and righteousness; though necessary are not sufficient to lead a democracy. Since there hasn’t really been any groundbreaking advancement in the economic sphere or sociopolitical order in India ever since the UPA Government assumed power, the only other possibility to vote him the most popular leader is the credentials of his contenders to the spot; which speaks volumes on the disturbing dearth of good leaders in our country. Ever since the opposition parties have kick started their scathing attack on the Government; questioning the competence, morality and even the purpose of a Government citing the G series scams it looks like the economics professor has gone in hiding.

Just about the time you started worrying for the hiding helmsman of the Indian democracy now in troubled waters; we hear a reassuring voice announcing the arrival of the new captain who, the announcer promises, is capable of avoiding a capsize and can set the sails for a smooth journey.

But before the new Captain takes command, I seek the permission to speak freely.

Unable to contain his desire to witness the coronation; the despicable gabbing machine in the Congress party reminded all of us last week that India’s crown prince is crossing 40; and announced to the world that he has licked clean the throne which is waiting for the roosting of the royal hind parts that have been wandering the breadth of India. Off late it looks like the constantly garbage emitting loudspeaker of the UPA gets hysteric and transforms into a charging bull the moment he sees any one with the civil society label. His tirade, characterized by shallow competence on the irrelevance of a civil society movement, generously helped in handing out the colors with which the UPA Government got painted as a bunch of deaf ears lead by someone who seems muted by other preoccupations.

The prime ministership of the Gandhi family scion is a much expected national surprise. The drama is in the offing. The stretching of the vocal cords by the sycophant who is genetically programmed to relish the surprised look on the faces of the unsuspecting and dumb Indians when he announces ‘Delhi is India’s capital’ is the first bell. As a matter of fact it is the charlatans like him and the litany of shoddy media managers who make every action of an otherwise OK candidate to the PMO look like publicity stunts.

Captain you listening?

Muchas Gracias… Morality Mongers

The southern tip of the subcontinent seems to be catching up with the moral policing trend in the rest of the country. Thanks to a bunch of morality mongers, who deprived themselves of even the basic necessities like food and sleep and burned the midnight oil to check the morality pilferage in God’s own country, the hundred percent literate state of Kerala woke up this morning reading the bravado of these morality soldiers who displayed commendable chivalry by slapping a female who dared to get out at night with a male friend. Wow … I am proud to be a Mallu! Those lowlifes whose world view is smaller than the size of a peanut; who have sworn their lives to defend these mules that carry the horrendously gargantuan morality baggage of the society would now come up, taking time from their busy schedule of making useless statements and dreaming to make the society more regressive, and make well thought out statements like– 'She deserved it didn’t she? How dare she get on the bike with a male unrelated (read who is not her father, husband or brother) to her? Girls should remain indoors after 8'. Cute... Isn’t it?

Now if you think that the morality bug has gender bias and feeds only on testosterone; perish your thoughts and read along. Apparently a group of women activists identified a mermaid grass sculpture in Cochin University of Science and Technology (CUSAT) as a grave threat capable of inflicting serious dent to the moral image of science and tech education. Consequently in November 2010 the general public, staff and students of CUSAT witnessed the breast chopping ceremony performed on the grass mermaid following strictures from this group of estrogen overflowing protectors of womanhood who could not stand the vulgarity in the curves of the grass sculpture. Can you beat that? Since the logic how the lost morality of university education could be restored by the breastlessness of the sculpture eluded me, I reached out to a friend who comforted me by saying that it was an esoteric exercise performed to satiate the moral high priests and that the amoral ones like I and her will need many more births to understand the intricacies of such rituals.

For the love of God these have happened in a state that boasts of HDI comparable to the best in the west, and substantial international exposure to the general public because of outmigration and large diasporas. What is even more alarming is that both these have taken place in Cochin, supposedly hippest of the cities in Kerala. If unchecked the morbid mindset of a few ignoble souls are sure to make Cochin lose out on its race to be the most wanna be IT hub in South India.

To the wholesale and retail morality mongers this is what I have got to say. Go get a life for yourself and stop sniffing around the lower end of the intestinal tract of others to find out what they had had for breakfast.

“Who’s gonna monitor the monitors of the monitors?” - Wonders my friend Mr.Common Man

“Who’s gonna monitor the monitors of the monitors?” This is a question that Carla Dean (Regina King) asks her husband Robert Clayton Dean (Will Smith) in the movie Enemy of the State. The movie is about the fight of a normal citizen to reclaim his normal life, after he becomes an unknowing witness of a high profile murder committed by a powerful politician. When the corrupt and powerful politician manipulates the institutions and persons in power in his effort to cover up the murder that he committed in connection with passing a legislation that could result in greater intrusion into the lives of normal people in the pretext of national interest, the life of Mr. Dean begins to be fed to the dogs. After being pushed to the wall and after realizing the power of what he has in his hands the movie ensues on a sequence of events where ultimately Dean reclaims his normal life and everybody goes home to say Merry X’Mas.

Let’s leave Mr. Dean for the time being and allow me to introduce to you, my friend Mr.Common Man living a normal life. I have lots in common with this guy; you know, modest living means, familial responsibilities (off late), pays taxes, do not disrespect the constitution.. and so on.. For long the persons in power had convinced him that he lacks political virility and dubbed him as ‘everyday idiot’. In my daily conversations with him about life in general and life in India in particular I have found him updated, in fact up-to-dated; thanks to his job where he spends more than 12 hours a day staring at a luminescent rectangle and fondling the key board where every third word that he types in is ‘facebook, twitter or ning’. Though he stands the risk of being labeled as an information glutton capable of spewing data and information that holds the potential to sufficiently confuse even experienced discussants I have found him lacking in conviction to take a stance and air his views or mobilize opinion for or against an issue. I was not surprised to find him to have not yet made up his mind when I asked him about his feelings towards the ordeal concerning Jan Lokpal bill, the latest buzzword that have been hailed and chanted by sick looking anchors during the prime and non prime time news in channels as the panacea for all the ills plaguing the biggest democracy in the world.

However he agreed, on strict assurances from my side that nothing that I write will be traced back to him, to share his views on the issue. So here it comes.

The Jan Lokpal Bill (the people’s Ombudsman) is the civil society alternative to the Lokpal Bill. The first LokPal Bill was first formulated in 1969 and passed in the Loksabha but turned down in the Rajya Sabha and again it was reintroduced nine more times, the last one being in 2008, only to be turned down for reasons unbeknownst to the people of India. But it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that the bill was not passed even after four decades of introducing it since the main objective of the bill was to monitor the probity of those in power. Albeit the importance of such a bill the elected elite that have been ruling this country never felt the urgency to check the probable agency issues associated with the offices they hold. The Common Man thinks that the promises by politicians to curb corruption is a way to humor the listeners and that the expenditures associated with the meetings of the elected elite that takes place in the Capital city behind guarded doors are to be loathed.

“But does the inability of the existing bunch of jokers mean that we should go bananas on the promises of deliverance from the likes of the Belly Dancer Babas or hasty Hazares?” - wonders the Common Man. Though he shares no disrespect to their credentials or abilities in their respective fields, he is confused about the effectiveness with which they can address these issues. The Common Man; the everyday idiot, found it amusing when the Government of India, on grounds of God knows what, decided to burst the rave party at Ramlila maidan especially when the Government of India had sent four senior cabinet ministers (can you believe it? four senior ministers!) to the airport to pick up the bags of the billionaire Baba.

Hazareji on the other hand has, in the minds of the Common Man, earned the reputation of being hasty when he said that he is leading the second freedom struggle; thus self elevating himself to the status of Mahatma Gandhi. The statements from the pontificators of Anna Hazare as the new age Gandhi; the high priests of the Indian civil society humor the Common Man. The poor Common Man is bewildered and at the same time uneasy at some of the audacious claims that translates to ‘leave everything to us lest India is doomed’ from these self appointed knights who have taken up the task of defending Indian democracy. Sneaking from under the cloak of indolence the Common Man said he had felt the need to break the face of these big mouths that surround a pious looking man like Anna Hazare.

The Government at the Center has called the Bohemian Baba, who woke up from his trance and urged all those who believed in democracy to join his private army, as a threat to national interest and has since then treated him like an enemy of the state. Anna Hazare and the big mouths tailing him, finds themselves in a difficult position as they could not out rightly reject the unwarranted support from the flashy Baba who loves the seven star life even when preaching austerity.

Understandably the BJP leadership, the only patriots left in the country according to them, has joined the verbal struggle against corruption; without putting their house in order that is reeling under allegations against the BJP led Government in Karnataka. The left parties haven’t been too sure on their statements about any of these; may be because there is a low loading of the class struggle element in this issue and are probably referring to Das Kapital: Kritik der politischen Ökonomie to come up with a concrete explanation. And their statement may come in another 25 years.

The three arms of the functioning Government were supposed to monitor each other’s probity. Now the civil society bigmouths are telling us they will monitor these guys. Drinking his ninth cup of black coffee while fondling the keyboard the Common Man wondered “Now who’s gonna monitor the monitors of the monitors?”

Caught in the daily chores, forced to discharge familial responsibilities and dutifully playing the role of the everyday idiot the Common Man knows that the maximum he would do is to share his feelings with a friend who at the most would post it in his blog.

But the Common Man has the following questions..
When the very same institutions functioning with the taxpayer’s money, that are constitutionally liable to upkeep the principles of democracy and protect the polity become shameless edifices of incompetence in warding off corruption what possibly can a normal citizen do? When the offices that are to be receptive to the normal citizen tantamount to nothing more than air-conditioned architectural arrogance housing insidious parasites with ignoble intentions what possibly can a normal citizen do? When the politicians and bureaucrats, even after getting caught, exhibit no remorse whatsoever in abusing the powers vested with them in their crusade to illegally accumulate wealth by plundering the state exchequer and siphon it off to safe havens what possibly can a normal citizen do?

Well.. the Common Man don’t really have answers to any of these questions…and he doesn’t suppose anybody would have either. But that shouldn’t stop him from asking these any way; for these have eluded any concrete attention for centuries despite being categorized as issues ‘demanding immediate attention’!